I may have added the quotation marks around the easy. Pulling way into the lead for the most obnoxious recipe I have yet attempted, this week's experiment is going to be a lot of error and a little bit of trial and probably quite a bit of recollected swearing. At least there are happy pictures. To get the migraine warning done from the get-go, there is nothing in any of the ingredients here that should cause problems to your average MSG or food thickener sensitive eater.
We'll begin with my first admonishment; I'm not sure what crazy Oreo packages are available in the States, but we definitely don't have the large-size "Trailer Park Biscotti" package that the ingredient list calls for on most Canadian store shelves. Or any Canadian store shelves. You are definitely going to need two boxes to make up the 36 Oreos plus 9 extra. Especially if you dip into the stock.
Speaking of, there will be no further discussion of the "set aside 9 Oreos to be crushed for garnish later" because I ate them all while I was in the middle of crushing the first 36. Baking be not proud. In my own defense, I don't see that they would have added much besides some visual appeal. Since they looked fine without, we'll just go with the idea that the extra baker bling was not required.
Starting off proper, it was time for our good buddy Mr. Rolling Pin to come back into our lives, ready to wail on those Oreos like it was the end of the Stanley Cup finals and he needed a new TV. I'm going to say that while I have yet to start into the food processor for these weekly experiments I probably could have used one here. Crushing 36 Oreos to a fine paste requires a serious application of force for way longer than I was expecting and I had to pause more than once to let the pain dull. Your basic large size Ziploc bag will comfortably hold all the Oreos for the pulping. You know you're done when it looks like you've beaten the taste out of them and your arm is taking out a restraining order against you.
Delicious. As if that wasn't joint-crushing enough, the next step on this jaunt is to combine these crumbs with the softened cream cheese. This part is pretty straightforward, although it requires a lot of elbow grease to get things mixed together. Again, the food processor would probably have helped at this juncture but you don't get the same level of madness or frustration that I experienced and where would the fun in that be? You will know that the mixture is ready when it has a consistent texture of a giant cow pat.
Now you're ready to practice throwing for rodeo competitions. Or you could continue baking. Your choice, I give you options here. Next step, and one they don't really mention in the recipe but I read in the comments and will make your life and mine much easier, stuff the dough in the fridge for about 10-15 minutes to cool. You're going to be rolling these happy campers into little balls about an inch around and having the dough chilled makes this infinitely easier.
The balls, in turn, are going into the freezer for 15 minutes, which is why I laid them out on this glass container to keep them separate. I ended up splitting the truffles into two separate batches, which is pretty much a necessity if you're working with melted chocolate and are a slow-ass such as myself.
Once your balls are chilled, and you can make your own joke here, I don't think you need my help, you are on to the chocolate melting portion of our show. I had originally planned to jury-rig a double-boiler using some instructions I found around the internet. By this point in the cooking process I was so bugger annoyed that I went to the microwave method instead. In my defense... I got nothing. However, the microwave method worked well enough that I would use that over fiddling with double-boilers any day of the week.
Since you'll be doing this twice, grab the first package of chocolate and break it apart into little chunks in a bowl that ideally won't retain a lot of heat. I used stoneware and it seemed to do fine. You should melt the chocolate for two minutes on medium heat. I will say that both times I did this I used 50% and 60% power respectively and the chocolate did not melt as fast as I wanted and started to harden much sooner than was conducive to me not swearing loudly. Hindsight being what it is, I'd say do two minutes at 70% power, times varying based on microwave power etc, and then poke at your chunks. While they may retain their shape at the start, the chocolate should go into soupy blob form with a little prodding from a plastic spatula if it is hot enough. If this does not occur with ease, the chocolate is not hot enough, trust me.
Once you have the chocolate melted, it's dipping time. Since you froze your balls off, free one for you there, you will have a much easier time getting the truffles to hold shape when they are engorged in the chocolaty death that awaits them. Make sure you have a cookie sheet ready to go with wax paper on top, then grab a fork. Balance truffle on fork, dip and roll around in chocolate as needed, lift, let excess chocolate drain, then place on sheet. Repeat until the truffles are coated, bog easy. To describe. To do, with partially melted chocolate? Much harder.
Once you have the truffles inelegantly laid out, stuff them in the fridge for an hour to cool and harden and all that good jazz. Then serve. I have to say that I was not a huge fan of how these tasted, but I was well and away the minority. It may have to do with how embittered I was after the whole damn process, to be fair, but everybody else absolutely loved them. I suspect with the knowledge I put together here I could make these with much less hassle and since they went over well, I will probably give them another go at some point.
On that note, I'll be back in two weeks with another crazy creation from the kitchen. I've got a course going on this weekend that will preclude me from getting a recipe together, to the delight of my pancreas no doubt, but I'll return with something that I hope will be equally delectable. Until then, let them eat bake!
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